Auto-Matic Laughs

Tonight I’m going to read you a story about a couple that went shopping for a new car. But the story is a little dry, so I’d like you to help me through this. When I read certain words, I’d like you to provide some background “action” to them. Here are the important words and their actions.

  • If you have BLUE eyes, whenever you hear the word BLUE, pat the top of your head.
  • If you have brown eyes, whenever you hear the word Brown, pat the top of your head.
  • If you are left-handed, whenever you hear the word Right, clap your hands.
  • If you are right-handed, whenever you hear the word Left, clap your hands.
  • If you’re under 20, stomp your feet whenever you hear the word Old.
  • If you’re over 20, stomp your feet whenever you hear the word New.
  • If you are a male, stand up whenever you hear the word Female.
  • If you are a female, stand up whenever you hear the word Male.

 

Here’s that dry story I told you about…

One day, a Man and a Woman went to the store looking to buy a New car. Their Old one, which was a muddy Brown color, was not running well. It Left too much to be desired in the way of speed and safety, and they wanted another one Right away. They wanted a bright Blue one. As they walked into the dealership, the Woman noticed a Blue sports car on the showroom floor. “Darling,” she said, look at that lovely New car Right over there. Wouldn’t it be perfect for us.”

“You may be Right. It’s a lot better looking than our Old, Brown buggy. Unfortunately, there’s one problem—I’ve Left all my money at home,” the Man said.

“You Left it at home?” asked the Woman.

“Yes, it’s Right in the pocket of my New Brown suit,” replied the Man.

“Your New Brown suit? Why I took that suit to the cleaners just this morning and I didn’t notice any money in any of the pockets,” said the Woman.

“But I’m certain I Left my money in the inside Right pocket of my New Brown suit,” said the Man as he scratched his head in wonder.

“Now wait a minute! Are you saying I’m not Right? Man, oh Man, oh Man! You have your nerve!” Shrieked the Woman.

“Let’s not argue. We’re here to buy a car and that Blue car in the corner is a Right nice model. And just think, if we buy the New Blue car, we’ll never have to worry about our Old Brown one again!” said the MAN.

They wandered over to look at the New Blue car. After looking at the price of the New car and figuring out what they’d get as trade-in on their Old Brown one, the Man and the Woman decided that buying the New Blue one would be the Right thing to do.

But before they Left the dealer, they started questioning their decision. Would they be better off with their Old Brown one, if the New Blue one didn’t run Right? How long before they thought of the New car as an Old one? Or what about a New Brown one? And would they feel Blue about trading in their Brown one? Brown or Blue; Old or New. What was Right and which car did they want to be Left with?

The Man and the Woman were so confused they decided to sell their car and buy bicycles. And that’s just what they did. And they KNEW it was Right, Left, Right, Left, Right, Left!

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