Morning Paper


  • Roll of toilet paper
  • Shoulder bag


  1. Have someone come walking onto the stage with a newspaper shoulder bag.
  2. He/she is yelling, “Paper! Paper! Get your morning paper!”
  3. The “straight man” says, “Sure. I’ll take one.”
  4. The newsie reaches into the bag and pulls out a roll of toilet paper, hands it over, and both walk off.
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