- A “skin” with a charcoal drawing of the Arrow of Light. (Use a crumpled paper bag for the skin and black marker to draw the AOL.)
- The interviewer should look the part of an old Scouter (the more like B-P the better).
- The Scout being interviewed should look as Neanderthal as possible (skins for clothing; a club; heavy, unkempt hair and beard, etc.).
Narrator: Good evening ladies, gentlemen, all Scouts and Scouters. Tonight we join our investigative reporter, BP, in an exclusive interview with the first-ever Scout. Let’s join them now.
(Stage curtains open to Scouter and Caveman standing together.)
BP: So, you are called the oldest Scout in the world. Just how old are you?
CM: Well, counting all the time before there were calendars, I figure I’m somewhere around 5000 years old—give or take a century.
BP: Wow! Five thousand years old! And to what do you contribute your longevity?
CM: Why the skills and abilities I gained through Scouting, of course! It’s what’s kept me going all these years.
BP: Scouting, eh? So what was Scouting like in your day?
CM: Well, to begin with, I’d have to say it was a little primitive. Things like we had to use little round pebbles for dues, vines for knot tying. Those kinds of primitive limits.
BP: I imagine so. What about badges?
CM: Yeah, we had badgers, but the dinosaurs were more of a bother than badgers.
BP: No, not badgers, badges! Did you earn badges?
CM: Oh, I’m sorry. You know what they say, “Hearing is the second thing to go.” Can’t remember what the first thing is. What did you ask me?
BP: Badges! Did-you-have-to-earn-badges?
CM: Oh yes! We earned all kinds of badges. Fire starting was one of them. Really needed to know how to start fires. Kept the cave warm, you know. And then there was stalking. We had to learn the skills of stalking. Why we had to be able to stalk just about any animal there was—any worth eating, at least.
BP: What about other skills? Did you have to learn about Home Repairs or Gardening?
CM: Well, sorta. Home Repairs was a must. Did you know I came up with one of the words we use to describe parts of a window? Happened one cold December day. (Well, we would have called it December if we had a name for it or a calendar even.) The wind and the wolves were howling and the snow was just pouring through the front hole in the cave wall. My mom told my dad that if something weren’t done about it, he wouldn’t be allowed to go camping the following weekend. So my dad told me it was my job. He said I could earn my Home Repairs badge if I could fix it. So I just took the oil-skin sash from around my bear skin robe and draped it in front of the hole. It stopped the snow and we could still get light through it. And from that day on, they’ve called the covering over a hole in a home a “window sash.”
BP: Yes, I see. And did you have a Gardening badge?
CM: Almost. We called it Gathering, but it evolved into Gardening when we got a little sloppy with it. We used to have to go out gathering seeds to eat. You know—grains and berries and such. Well one time there was a hole in my sack and some of the seeds dropped out just outside the cave. Next thing we knew, the seeds had turned into plants and those plants had seeds. We just kept the plants right outside and we had all the seeds we needed from then on.
BP: In today’s Scouting program, there are different ranks the boys earn, like Bobcat, Wolf, and Bear. Did you have anything like that.
CM: Of course, we had all them. I earned my Bobcat when I was first in Scouts. Had to go out with the leader and find a Bobcat in the mountains. When I finally spotted one and got really close to it, I held up my hand like this (holds up Cub Scout sign) to let my leader know I’d spotted one. I figured it would draw his attention so he’d listen and not make a lot of noise. Then, after I’d caught it and we went back to the cave, I was telling them how I’d reached out with two fingers really straight and GRABBED the Bobcat around the leg with my other fingers. Everyone thought that was a really good way to grab something. Here, let me show you. (Shows BP how to do the Cub Scout handshake!)
BP: Something really familiar sounding about those things. Did you earn any other badges?
CM: Well there was the Wolf badge. We had to do all sorts of things to earn that one. Like learning how to use and properly care for a blunt rock and a sharp rock. We also had to clean up rocks around the cave. And learn the difference between our tribe’s cave logo and others’ logos. And for the Bear badge—another one we earned—we had to listen and learn about old, prehistoric tales about cavemen like Volcano Vort (who used to float down the lava rivers) and T-Rex Rex (a tale about some Neanderthal who used to ride dinosaurs). Also we almost had to learn how to ride a bike, except we didn’t have a wheel so we didn’t have tires so we didn’t have a bike so we didn’t have to do that.
BP: Again, these things you did sound like things I’ve heard our Cub Scouts have had to do. Are there any other special badges that you earned or learned about?
CM: Well, there were many other badges, but the one I remember most had to be the Arrow of Light. You probably don’t know about that one, so let me show you how we would draw it on the cave walls. We got this when we had proven that we were ready to go onto bigger and more challenging things.
BP: So there you have it. Seems not too much has changed since the first Scout. I guess that’s what they mean when they say “The more things change, the more they stay the same!”