1. If you’re too open minded, your brains will fall out.
  2. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
  3. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
  4. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognise a mistake when you make it again.
  5. Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.
  6. When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
  7. For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
  8. Everyone has a photographic memory.  Some just don’t have film.
  9. You never truly understand something until you can explain it to your grandmother.
  10. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn’t have said.

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